How can one understand different grades of STO?
In order to be considered Service-to-Others an entity must think of others 50% of the time, the self 50% of the time. Service-to-Others does not mean being a pushover or a slave to the demands of others. Those who are highly Service-to-Others spend more time thinking about the welfare of others, and take action, often a great sacrifice to themselves.
source: ZetaTalk: GodlikeProduction Live written August 8, 2009
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In general, if a person wonders what orientation they have chosen, they have not yet chosen. Those who have chosen their orientation have almost daily clues that they have made a choice, and that they are solidly in one camp or the other.
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